I haven’t written in a little while.

This week there is so much on my mind, and so many things going on that I can barely keep everything in my head. I’ve been more tired this week than I have since September or October. I can feel the heftiness of the week weighing down on me, the extreme gratefulness that it is Friday tomorrow. And yet, with the weekend, with the busy upcoming week, I’m worried and nervous about what’s to come.

In my life, as with others’, the expression “when it rains, it pours” seems to be a constant truth. Whether everything good happens at once, or everything bad, or just general numbness and a ‘shutting down’ attitude, a ‘rut’… it all always happens at once. It’s everything, or it’s nothing. I sense good things to come. I hope I’m right.

Anyway, there are too many things to write about. With spring always comes this heavy, brutal nostalgia that I can’t ever seem to shake off. There’s also romance, an impending summer, an impending nervousness about the coming year, romance, work, stress, more insomnia, a longing to return to what was, an aching to move forward, a mysterious cloud that I can’t see through, and one I’m afraid to look into. There’s just so much going on. Good things, scary things, bad things, romantic things, progressive things.

William Shakespeare has been on my mind lately. The following from As You Like It comes to mind: “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts…” I think of Shakespeare because I am immersed in his language. I think of Shakespeare because in life, we do have so  many parts to play. Even from one minute to the next. Things keep moving. I hope I can move with them. I hope movement manifests itself literally and figuratively. I hope one day soon I can stop living for the weekend.

 

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