Gratitude.

I googled the definition of gratitude. What came up was this: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

I am thankful for everything and I cannot count my blessings on two hands. I can’t. What I have now – everything – is something I never truly thought I could have and who I am and what I could be is better than anything I thought possible. My own life is steeped in amazing things that I have brought on myself, but also, what I’m grateful and thankful for has come in the form of the people who are now in my life. The people who didn’t just ditch me or believe lies about me or go behind my back. People who have inspired my career and my personal vocation and my drive to go after everything I really, really want which was more than some fancy apartment in a fancy city. I love those people as much as I love who and what I’ve become in the last year. And that to me, is gratitude.

I work hard because I want to let everyone in my life and around me know how grateful I am. I show gratitude in how I’m trying to live my life every day. I don’t always do a good job but I strive for perfection because I’m being raised by a village.

I’m thankful for being able to spend each weekend with my second family. I’m thankful that I have a job that I care about enough to take the extra hours and time to perfect each and every day. I’m thankful for the days when all that hard work pays off. I’m thankful for my abilities as much as where I need to grow. I’m thankful for not phoning it in. I’m thankful for amazing food and amazing company and amazing wine. I’m thankful that all my shitty exes are indeed, shitty and exes. I’m thankful that my ex-friends don’t have to waste their time with me anymore. I’m thankful for the fact that somewhere in the world, I have happy and healthy extended family. I’m thankful my sister said yes to the dress this weekend. I’m thankful for having tomorrow off. I’m thankful for students who choose to make movies as a part of their project. I’m thankful. Just very very thankful.

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