After desperately trying and trying and having a million doors slammed in my face I am fortunate (very fortunate) to say that I have achieved, and currently am achieving, my dreams. I’m feeling stronger and I’m feeling more confident and I’m feeling more like a leader and an adult and less like a scared little girl who can’t go after what she wants or lead people to realize their full potential. I am achieving my dreams.
Sometimes I spend time with the people I knew when I was just beginning this, and I remember a time when I was just starting and didn’t know them and I had no idea where this was going to go down the road. And what I see, rather than acquaintances, is people who helped me along the way to be what I never knew I was capable of being. Their professional development, emotional support, late nights of drinking and talking, their lending of resources and moaning and complaining about the whole process has gotten me to a place where I could be here now. Those people have helped me in big and little ways, but in ways they can’t possibly even imagine.
Lastly, there is him. Him who on our first date told me it “made him sad” to hear I was giving up on this dream. Him, who with his own leadership skills and amazing talents and abilities in this profession we both have encouraged me relentlessly and believed in me and told me to be patient and constantly reminded me of the gifts and prowess I bring. Him, who said to me once, “you are the monster” and allowed me the very next day to believe that to be true. It was him. It was him who held on for me and offered to be my stability and pulled me from the wreckage of my own shattered confident and self-esteem. He makes me believe in this. He makes me believe all of this is worth it and I can be a part of something great. I’m great because from the very first time we spoke, he told me he believed I was.
So when you land the big job and you have amazing people in your life who have helped you along the way and you have the man of your dreams, what more do you really want or need? When you have everything you’ve wanted the last few years when you started at the very bottom rung of this totem pole, that’s it – you can just breathe and enjoy this feeling. It’s the moment my clouds have finally, finally parted.