Things I Learned From Boys Who Didn’t Work Out.

The Original Heartbreaker. 

What can you learn from the person who dumps you with a high five? What can you say about him that hasn’t already been cried out, scrawled angrily and quickly into journals, or written thoughtfully and reflectively elsewhere? Or passive-aggressively spewed on social media, or passive-agressively referred to in song lyric-laden 21-year old Facebook statuses? Except for… sometimes, we think we’re in love. We think we’ve found the person. And if we wait and wait and wait for them they’ll realize it all too. They won’t. And if they were the person, you wouldn’t have to wait a day.

The Drama Geek Who Drove the Toyota

I learned from the Drama Geek Who Drove the Toyota that dating can be fun and it doesn’t have to be serious. At the time, my naive inexperienced 24-year old self felt like everyone you dated needed to become your boyfriend. And no – sometimes going for post-midnight slurpees and going on a hike and talking about tattoos is just enough.

The Crazy Cat Man

The Crazy Cat Man was totally and inexplicably hot and cold and I’ll never understand him at all. I learned from him that sometimes you don’t get closure from inexplicably hot and cold people. That sometimes people just have their own strange motives for their odd, poor lame dating etiquette. And if they’re going to leave you waiting for a bus alone in -40 weather in downtown Edmonton, they’re not worth your time.

The Blur Fan

Has there even been a more adorable person ever than the Blur Fan? While he was the cutest thing on two legs and he was so much fun, the reality of him was that he and I were on completely different pages and phases in our lives. There were times when I thought he was the right person at the wrong time. And now I realize the right person will always be the right person, and the wrong person will always be the wrong person. And time is just a number.

The Friend With Benefits

While I didn’t learn anything about the nature of men, dating or love from the FWB, I learned a bit about myself and what I was able to put up with, tolerate and deal with emotionally. Sometimes I was concerned that the FWB would suddenly turn into someone I was crazy-attached to and in love with because I get that way with dating prospects sometimes. Or I did. Until I met him and learned that there are some guys you pine over and are head-over-heels nuts about, and others that are just there for the good times. And you’re grateful for those people.

The Almost-Boyfriend

I almost chose him because of how he made me feel; of how he kissed me, and how we made fun of each other and how we shared some crucial moments and how he changed me and my beliefs and my everything. But I see him now as someone I can count on and laugh with, but someone who just isn’t ‘the one’ for me. I learned from him that some people are meant to be in your life and they can make all the difference and they can move mountains and you can learn to love them deeply, more deeply than you’ve loved almost anyone. But just not ‘that’ way.

The Activist

From the Activist, you learned that love is a two-way street. And if it’s not a two-ways street, it’s not love. I learned that just because you admire someone for all they do in the world to be a good person and contribute to and give back to making society and the world and the planet and the poorest neighbourhood in Canada ‘good’, doesn’t mean they are good to you and contribute and give back to you, and make you feel ‘good’. I went to all of his shows. I stored his things at my place. I got less than nothing in return. Go forth, Activist, and keep bettering humankind. But don’t call me anymore.

The Newly Single Guy.

I went on three dates with the Newly Single Guy. He was nice and pleasant and he meant no harm. We had drinks together and spent a couple of nights together. And then he faded away. The Newly Single Guy probably didn’t want a long-term thing, and he certainly didn’t want his non-long-term thing with me, really. But some people are placeholders for each other. In the end, I found my actual place. I hope he’s found his, too.


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