I have a secret. I have since made the secret public for a few reasons: so people I was getting closer to could understand me, to try and help others gain power back on social media following traumatic personal events, and to be more emotionally available with others. This secret is one of the most deeply personal aspects of my life.
To find out recently that someone I was once very close with and shared this secret with, was actually going around telling it to other people that I also knew, I am simply appalled. There are no words for that kind of betrayal. This person is no longer in my life. This person told my secret years ago with no repercussions. This person probably lives in her own castle that she built around herself. And yet – to find this out, I feel betrayed, exasperated, broken, as if nothing I ever told her was sacred, as if what we had as “best friends” meant absolutely nothing to her at all.
I NEVER told her secrets. I still haven’t. And I won’t. Because I know what is sacred and what isn’t, and I understand what it means to hold someone’s personal life in very high regard. If someone had told me what I had told her, it would stay with me forever.
There is no point to this post. really. There is no reason for this, there is no enlightenment I can pass on or words of wisdom I can impart. It’s not entertaining or interesting or funny. But it’s something I needed to say. If I am to impart anything here, I would say this: keep people’s dark traumas inside when you hear of them. Otherwise you’re the worst human being on the planet.