There are so many dating “dos and don’ts” out there on the internet. Don’t have sex on the first date, don’t have sex without monogamy, here are 15 reasons why you’re with the wrong person, or the right person, or the person you’re going to marry. There are enough articles to make your head spin. There are too many ways to do dating right, and/or do it wrong. There are things that are “good” to talk about, there are things that are “bad” to talk about on a first date.On and on it goes until you get titillated but also fatigued by the ridiculous amount of information that’s out there. And you ask yourself, ‘what do these people know about me and my relationship at all?’
They know nothing.
So go about your business. Have sex with whoever you want as long as it’s consensual. Talk about whatever you want as long as both you and your partner are comfortable. Be as dirty and vulgar, or as sweet and innocent as you want. Be the person you want to be in a relationship. Be the most authentic version of yourself that you can be on a first, second, third date, or when you have a ring on your finger. At the end of the day, the more authentically ‘you’ you’re being, the more likely you’ll find a good match for you – and not the person who wrote the article you read on Buzzfeed yesterday. Be who you’re proud and in your own skin being. Be the person whose outer self is proud to be representing their inner self and vice versa. Don’t listen to other people telling you what to be, how to date, how to act and behave and how chaste you need to be. Talk about religion and politics if you want to. Talk about dead bodies and gross body stories and that time you got so drunk you passed out in your own bathtub (guilty). You know you, and you know your potential partner better than Joe Article-Writer. Stay true to you.
Don’t listen to other people because eventually you’ll be driven in crazy amounts of different directions. You’ll wonder about things there are no reasons to wonder about. Have sex on the first date if you want to. You’ll have a lasting connection with this sex partner, or you won’t. But nothing you do (or don’t do) is going to change that. Say something stupid on purpose, or by accident; reveal inherent awkward truths about yourself – and don’t let other people fuck with your intuition. Don’t be pulled in different directions. Don’t forget that you’re the keeper of your own life.
As ironic as it is to follow advice from me, who is telling you not to listen to any advice, I am here to say I wish that sometimes I hadn’t read all those countless articles. I am also here to say I’ve done things that all other dating sites have said not to do, and I am here to say I don’t regret those things. It’s important to remember that every relationship has its own set of rules. And yours does too.