A friend once told me that she believes “most couples” are just settling because they don’t want to be alone. Personally, I think that’s a load of bollocks. I’m sure people do that. In fact, I know people who do that and have known them to wake up one day and realize they’re been with the wrong person for too long and they need to get out of their situation.
I’m fortunate to have found someone that I love. I just love him. I don’t have to think about it, or overthink
it. I don’t have to worry I’ll never hear from him again. I don’t have to stress about the future so much (even though I do sometimes if only because I am eager to see what my future looks like). I am with someone who supports me and who I support, who isn’t physically here but is always in my thoughts and vice versa. Who I can tease relentlessly and who will tease me relentlessly but who at the end of the day always has my back and loves everything about me.
If someone were to ask me exactly what I see in him, I would tell them about the many many great qualities he has that I see and feel and that no one at this moment or perhaps ever again, could replace.
His friends and family love him and they’re happy to see him happy.
A mark of a good person is how much the people around them love and cherish them. And to see that brings me so much palpable joy. I love seeing my boyfriend’s friends and family happy to see him, sad to miss him, and supportive of his pursuits. I’m fortunate to be with someone whose social circles love him so much they accepted and wanted to get to know me right away just because I’m important to them.
He is always trying things and facing the music and being a leader – he’s outgoing and fearless and even when I know he’s nervous he stands his ground and just goes for it anyway. I’m not as brave as I could be or should be and having someone brave around me makes me braver. I admire his bravery. I admire his courage all the time.
He works hard.
He doesn’t care what he needs to do, he sees everything as a means to an end. Everything he has or doesn’t have is hard-won and he’s worked hard for the life he has and the choices he’s made. Having someone around you who works so hard is inspirational and wonderful.
He’s emotionally open and available.
I wouldn’t say he’s seen me at my worst but he’s certainly seen the less-than-perfect sides of me. He’s nursed me for day-long hangovers and seen me throw up and say things that were stupid or vulnerable or crazy or maybe not the most appropriate to say to your boyfriend. And he loves me more for these things. He’s someone who says how he’s feeling and tends not to shy away from difficult conversations. He’ll ask questions that are straight-up but that he is legitimately curious about knowing. He comes from a place of emotional openness. He is sensitive and empathetic.
He knows a little bit about almost everything. He has strong, well-formed opinions on the state of the world and the state of art and the state of foodie culture. When we first started dating, I was a little daunted by his intelligence but luckily, he’s emotionally intelligent as well and he makes me feel validated and smart and important too.
I never saw myself with a ‘romantic’ guy because I thought ‘romance’ was kind of dead and most of the guys I’ve dated were man-children who didn’t ever go that extra mile. Romance is a guy who texts you goodnight every night when you’re apart. Romance is a guy who will always hold doors open for you, carry your bags, tell you how beautiful and amazing you are. Romance is a guy who will surprise you with a nice hotel room and a bottle of Prosecco on some idle Friday night when you’re not expecting it. Romance is a guy who feels badly he can’t afford to take you to a 5-star restaurant for Valentine’s Day and tells you that you deserve the best – but you feel the best because you’re on the arm of this super sweet, daring, romantic guy.
He has a lovely family.
Before now, I had never met a boyfriend’s family. Due to the circumstances we’re in now in our relationship, I have become very well-acquainted with my boyfriend’s family and they are lovely. They’re hilarious and kind and accepting of me and welcoming and warm and it’s so nice to be around people like that. Especially when they’re extensions of your person.