Focusing on what HAS been done.

Sometimes in life, we (myself included) get bogged down with all the things we “should” have done by a certain age and all the things we haven’t yet accomplished. We make bucket lists and get overwhelmed and stressed thinking about everything we want to do, and discouraged by the fact that we’re not ‘there’ yet.

Our lives are so entangled and compared with the lives of others and in the age of social media, it is be very difficult not to feel this way. We are in a decade of superficiality, comparison, competition, body image breakdowns and stalking our exes – ex-friends, ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands – simply because we have the option. Somehow, we are in a generation that likes to hurt ourselves and I can’t decide how or why this might be.

WHOA.

Let’s step back for a minute. I’M going to step back for a minute. What have I done? Here is a list of what I have done since my move to Vancouver.

  1. Crossed off a huge “bucket list” item of moving to the west coast which is something I’ve wanted to do since I was about 20
  2. Ran a half-marathon
  3. Completed my Bachelor of Education and overcame my own insecurities, doubts and issues with teaching in order to do so
  4. Rekindled a friendship with someone I had a falling out with years ago, who has since become a VERY close friend again
  5. Still continued (mostly) maintaining a healthy weight following a large weight loss effort about five years ago
  6. Attended two music festivals and have another one coming up
  7. Drove all the way to Portland
  8. Navigated the lower mainland and overcame a lot of driving fears in the process
  9. Went to Maui for the first time and felt like I was born to travel there
  10. Drove a Crown Victoria in Maui which was beautiful, exhilarating and admittedly stressful at first
  11. Committed to loving someone and allowing someone to love me in return after years of claiming I was non-committal, un-lovable and too guarded for a real relationship
  12. Completed Tough Mudder last summer, albeit skipping arm strength challenges (because I have no arm strength…)
  13. Landed my first Vancouver job, and my first teacher call-backs (despite that neither opportunity came through, it was nice to be called and know I’m getting there..)
  14. Made tons of new friends
  15. Saw the Avett Brothers, Cat Power, Rachael Yamagata, Pete Yorn and Jeff Tweedy solo, all for the first time
  16. Drove to Seattle twice on my own to see concerts
  17. Went to my first Seattle Seahawks game
  18. Found what could be my career destiny, should I be fortunate enough and brave enough
  19. Drove to Whistler, and the island, and the states, thus taking advantage of my incredibly beautiful, convenient surroundings
  20. Went outside my comfort zone to enter the world of casual dating
  21. Found the courage to say no to things I didn’t think were right
  22. Learned the value of doing my best to ‘grow happiness beneath my feet’ here in Vancouver, as financially and physically I was unable to travel for most of the past two years
  23. Graduated
  24. Helped people
  25. Exercised

There’s more. There’s a lot more. I’m forgetting things in this list I’m creating off the top of my head. And this is only since I’ve moved here. I think of the enormous wealth of things I’ve done before I came here and that list could be a mile long. I have improved myself drastically over the years. I’ve strived to be better, be more of a grown up, take care of myself, and do more to not allow people to treat me in a way I don’t deserve. I HAVE done a lot, and I should focus on all of this, rather than what is left do do, who is doing what I’m not, and what that means (which realistically, is nothing) for me.

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