Sometimes I like to write personal little quips. I save the MOST personal quips for my own private journals, but despite that I’m sure no one reads this, I like to occasionally scream the little details of my life from the rooftop.
This year I fell in love.
The thing about falling in love is that you think you’re in love before, until you actually fall in love with someone who loves you back and realize all other love you’ve felt pales in comparison. It wasn’t love and it wasn’t real, and it meant very little and that’s why it didn’t last.
The thing about falling in love is how it consumes you so that you care about the person you love more than yourself and what makes you happiest in the world is doing what you’re capable of doing to try and make that person happy. And when you’ve succeeded in doing so, those successes are in reality, almost minute, but they feel infinite and warm and wonderful.
The thing about falling in love is that you develop a keen ability to see inside someone’s soul. They look at you and you might not know exactly what they’re thinking or why, but you can see what they’re feeling and those looks are a thread connecting your head with their heart.
The thing about falling in love is how silly it is, and giddy, and stupid. You laugh and stupid jokes and sit across the table from someone staring into the other person’s sparkly blue eyes and the rest of the world can wait and watch the two of you doing this for however long it takes.
The thing about falling in love is that you can suddenly look at heartbrokenness with nostalgia and wisdom, because you feel like you know something and are connected to something you weren’t back then, and you can honour the memories and feelings and thoughts you had during those times without lamenting or slipping back into a kind of illogical sadness as you once did.
I fell in love this year. I’m so grateful for everything that’s come with that.