I’m not a risk-taker.

Typically.

I’m not the type of person to leave safety and comfort and trade that for something uncertain and terrifyingly and potentially miserable. I’m not the type of person to shrug off a cozy hammock in trade for a tipping boat. I’m the type to think of something that seems unpleasant and dwell on how unpleasant it might be instead of thinking of the good that could come out of it. I’m the type of person who fears discomfort more than almost anything else. The type of person who gets used to things and is then afraid to venture away from them, if the comfort exists.

Typically.

That’s how I am, who I am, who I always have been. Afraid, safe, not brave enough to try something different. I’m the type who spends now because she is afraid to try for the adventures she dreams up; the type of person who has great difficulty doing something important without the backup of someone else. I’m the type of person who is afraid of people until she gets to know them. The type of person who did this or that, and thinks now that she pushes paper in a 9-5 safe, clean, respectable,enjoyable, challenging, enriching, rewarding position, thinks this and that are for lack of a better term, below her. And wonders how long ‘this and that’ will keep her going before she eventually has to give up and face a dark reality that she won’t make it.

Typically.

Holy shit, I’m afraid.

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