I like the following quite a bit: milestones, traditions, rituals, superstitions, group think (apparently – and actually, too), and music (the latter has nothing to do with anything, it’s just the truth). All that being said, I like discussing the new year, fresh starts, resolutions, and a collective “I promise to do such-and-such in the new year” with other people every January. Because it feels like a milestone, a tradition, a ritual, and a superstition that belongs to a group.
Last year in January, in my daily handwritten journal, I wrote: “I want to be a better spender… I want to find a full-time job with benefits… I want to get my CPR certificate and my class 5 license… I think I’m due for big changes and big rewards… I should try and get published and focus more and writing and making connections and reclaiming that part of me.”
Did I do that? Um, mostly. I didn’t get published, but I tried a few times, which is more than I can say about previous years in which my fear of failure stunted my growth as a potential successful writer. But other than that, I think in 2010 I accomplished a lot, including and most importantly, a very complete kind of happiness that 2004 and 2007 both held for me that I thought I would never get back. So that’s never ever a bad thing.
So the following are my New Years resolutions for 2o1o:
-First and foremost, I want to try and carve out a new and different life, for the first time since I moved here, outside of Edmonton. I want to explore what else exists away from the bitter winters and be near a coast of some kind and meet new people.
-Again, I want to be a better spender. This continually poses a problem for me.
-I have a strong urge to, for whatever length of time and for whatever reason, return to the east coast.
-I want to continue to forge out and make utmost important, my passion, “talent” and thirst for writing, the written word, books, authors, readings, etc. etc. etc. This is the world I belong in and I’ll do anything to stay there. Maybe I’ll be privileged enough to return fully to that world again. I would simply die of happiness.
-I want to try, try, try again if something fails.
-I want to regain my faith in people, my own self, and anything else I’ve lost faith in.
-I want to make peace with myself and others, in even small, passive and non-communicative ways.
-I want to get back into shape. Christmas was bad news. It’s food detox time, for serious.
-I want to go somewhere by myself where I’ve never been before.
-I want to, despite that it’s judgeworthy, keep this momentum of a retro-active 18-year-old lifestyle going. It’s fun and it makes me feel continually young and lively. I never lived this way when I actually WAS in my late teens and early 20s, because I couldn’t then. I didn’t have enough confidence or initiative. Now that I can, I love it. It’s totally amazing.
Happy New Year.