I find that whenever I say “your loss”, I really mean that it’s my loss.  And that’s a disease that I live with every single day of my life, whenever a decision is made against me, that forces me to feel personally affronted.  Sure… I can easily say with attitude and dignity, “it’s your loss”… but in reality, I know it’s my loss.  It’s always going to be my loss.  Because no matter what you’ve done, innately I feel as though I will always just feel a certain way.  In the core of myself, I just know that… I could have done something differently to change the outcome.

Damnit, I miss… that.


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