I’ve only been sober for about a week. The last time I had drinks was last Saturday, I had three or four (I can’t remember) and I didn’t plan to. And since then I’ve been completely alcohol-free.
I don’t know why I would say this other than to wonder if that is truly a positive change. I’ve never had a problem with alcohol, and I’ve never had any kind of battle with it. It’s been a long string of wonderful nights with friends, etc. etc. It seems that since I quit I’ve kind of alienated myself in a certain kind of way. I don’t think I’ve gone “out-out” in that time… it’s weird how just one little life switch can alter that kind of lifestyle in its entirety, without even meaning to. Regardless though, I haven’t felt like drinking. I’ve mostly retreated to my record collection and discovering songs and albums and compilations and reading up on music and completing music surveys and feeling all dreamy and romantic because of all these piles and piles of good old fashioned dreamy songs from now or the 60’s or whatever.
There are people everywhere, walking around, listening to music and I’m sure that whatever they’re listening to conjures up something for them… an ex-girlfriend, their mother, their best friend who lives across the country, that time they first learned to skate, their first dinner out at their favourite restaurant… and with the privacy of those headphones, portable music then acts as a manipulator of thoughts in a certain kind of way. A song will come up and if we feel pensive and it conjures up something pensive, suddenly it makes our thoughts come alive. Or if there is positivity surrounding everyone and everything and the sun is out and people are wearing halter tops and sunglasses, “Up on Cripple Creek” by the Band will come on and you will just want to proudly strut down the street feeling the sun on y our arms. And that’s what music means to me… those little moments of transcendence that music can provide. And it is your little best-kept secret.